A hamster has been trading cryptocurrencies in a cage rigged to automatically buy and sell tokens since June – and it’s currently outperforming the S&P 500

  • A hamster named Mr. Goxx has been trading cryptocurrencies in a rigged box since June.
  • The hamster determines which crypto to buy or sell by running on a wheel and strolling through one of two tunnels.
  • Since it started trading on June 12, Goxx’s crypto portfolio returned 24% as of Friday.
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A hamster in Germany is redefining “A Random Walk Down Wall Street” author Burton Malkiel’s belief that a blindfolded monkey throwing darts at a stock ticker list in the newspaper could do just as good as a human investment professional.

The livestreamed hamster, named Mr. Goxx, has been independently trading a portfolio of various cryptocurrencies since June 12, and so far its performance has been impressive. As of Friday, the portfolio was up nearly 24%, according to the @mrgoxx twitter feed that documents daily performance, along with every trade made by the hamster. Mr. Goxx’s performance outpaces bitcoin and the S&P 500 over the same time period.

Mr. Goxx’s caretaker built the “Goxx Box,” a crypto-rigged office attached to its larger home that gives the hamster the ability to perform various exercises that then execute specific cryptocurrency trades. The hamster can enter its office whenever it wants to make trades.

First, Goxx runs on the “intention wheel” to pick which one of about 30 cryptocurrencies to trade. Once the crypto is chosen, the hamster runs through one of two “decision tunnels” that trigger either a buy or sell trade of the chosen cryptocurrency.

The top cyptocurrencies currently held by the hamster include Tron, Ripple’s XRP, cardano’s ada, and ether.

Goxx’s portfolio was funded with the euro equivalent of $390, according to a report from Protos. Mr. Goxx’s unidentified caretaker and business partner told Protos that the trades the hamster makes are automatically set to 20 euro increments.

“There are plans to give Mr. Goxx more control and let him intentionally pick his buy amount if the interest in his channel keeps growing,” the business partner told Protos.

Mr. Goxx has so far generated profits of 77 euros as of Friday afternoon. Its portfolio hit a high of nearly $580 in mid-September, when its performance was up nearly 50% in less than three months, according to performance data compiled by Protos. But since then, the recent crypto sell-off put a dent into the hamster’s profits.

But a profit is a profit, and Mr. Goxx likely understands that. “Mr. Goxx is happy to see that some of his investments finally pay off,” the business partner told Protos.

Mr. Goxx's performance as of September 10

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  1. “…and after noticing the hamster would almost always crawl through the Sell Tunnel after Bcash was selected on the Intention Wheel, Roger Ver sued both the creator of the box and the hamster. Last month, the hamster was found guilty in a German court and euthanized on Tuesday.”


  2. Yeah…because BTC is outperforming the S&P.

    The fucking hamster probably goes through those tunnels a million times a day, so it’s just constantly buying and selling, which is, in most cases, pretty much equivalent to holding.

    Here, I’ll make another prediction. The amount of money the hamster made is +/- 20% of what simply holding Bitcoin is.

  3. BTC has been outperforming the S&P since June, what does that part have to do with a hamster? Unless you program it to buy high and sell low it would be difficult to fuck that up.

  4. This applies to the stock market as well vs traders. I think they did it with a coin flip.

    Crypto trading isnt nearly as impressive though. If Bitcoin tanks, so does every other coin and vice versa. So if Bitcoin is on a run, the hamster can make no bad moves since all coins pump. If it dumps, he can make no good moves other than sit on a stable coin.

    The hamster is a fraud and no different than YouTube crypto guru’s!

What do you think?

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